Wednesday, November 14, 2007

It's a Fat World After All

Hello again fatty fans and foes. The audience here seems split. Many of you contact me to say you are in agreement with the message this site is delivering (in case you haven't been paying attention, the message is simple: fatties eat too much and make too many excuses). Others contact me and let me know loud and clear that you are shocked I could be so unsympathetic (to them I say: fatties get enough so-called support, a wake up call is required).

So, today I thought we could look for more evidence of how fat has invaded our society. Recently, Disney could no longer avoid the fact that the boats on their It's a Small World ride were tipping and bottoming-out. Imagine the embarrassed look on Mr. and Mrs. Fatness when their boat has to be unloaded of extra meat because they are bloated past the size of normal humans.

Disney's official line on this is: in 1963 when the ride was created, boats that carried customers through Disneyland's "It's a Small World" were designed to accommodate the average male. At that time, the average male weighed 175lbs and the average female 135lbs. Ahh! The good old days! Have any of you been to Disney lately? Pick a direction; whichever way you look will be obese, sloppy, disgusting creatures. In fact, many are forced to use motorized carts when their only problem is their fat inability to walk the park. Sadly, the only thing you'll see more often than Mickey and Japanese clicking cameras nonstop, is fat people eating, talking about eating, or trying to find a place to sit.

And Disney knows it. While other parks sell popcorn and other candy treats, what did Disney marketing come up with? They sell huge turkey legs as a snack! The moment you see some fat pig shoving a greasy turkey leg into their round face, your life will never be the same.

So, Disney continues to fatten them up as if preparing them for the witch's stove. Their Small World ride being reworked to support fatties who weigh over 200 pounds so that they can continue to keep the ride moving along without delay. If you've been to Disneyland recently, you surely noticed they don't fill boats any more even when the lines are long. Now you know why. Thanks fatties. I'll continue to do the math when you enter the elevator and make sure I don't plummet to my death with your fat butt.

Monday, November 12, 2007

More Bad Advertising!

As much as we can use the nickel a day we get by you clicking those ads on the right and helping us keep this site going ... we admit they are starting to annoy us with their politically correct BS. Here's an example we got from a reader who asks "Why isn't being fat my fault?" (see top ad).

Well, fat reader, it's not your fault for the same reason being dumb is not your fault. You have a fat brain, and th
erefore, it's hard to think and hard to stop yourself from putting food in your mouth. I suggest you do exactly what the ads recommend and --in addition to "Fat is not your fault"-- also get the programs "lose 55 pounds in 5 months" and "The 16 Hour Diet." If you do this, I expect you'll be much thinner, but sadly not that much

Click away, Fatties!

More important fat news

Well, our amazing sister site, has done it again. What an insightful article on the problem with weight in the USA!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Excellent Reminder

This video is proof that fat people are just like everyone else.

Another great example of self-esteem

Wait...wait..I can't breathe. Wait... thing...ever!!! When that reporter says "Crushing Weight" ... it's a thing of beauty. I can watch that kid fall on the floor over and over again.

Only fat people exercise in the kitchen!

I suspect it goes something like this: Eat, dance, eat, eat, dance. Nap, eat, watch TV, nap, eat, eat. Walk to mailbox, pick up disability check, order pizza, call mom and tell her how mean neighbors are for staring. Surf web, email calling us mean and hateful.

Dance, fatty ... dance.

Response to hate mail

This is dedicated to those that not-so-politely informed me that fat people have plenty of self-esteem and are happy they way they are. This fatty does sound confident, but the real question is: can you get through this video without vomiting?

Fat people excercise

Good job fatty. Listen to the beating that treadmill takes. Good thing she only uses it once a decade.

Enjoy, Readers!

Dedicated to Diver2530 who requested more, more, more!

Fatty-fat dancing

For my readers that requested more fatty pics. You are sick, demented animals. But, what the hell, enjoy.

Friends of IBlogFat: Famous People Hate Fatties Too.

I've told you about the hate mail we get. You've seen some angry anonymous comments. I don't spend a lot of time trying to convince people I am not "mean" since I don't think wanting people to be healthy is all that crazy of an idea. But, I admit, it is a bit more than that. I can't stand to look at fat people. I can't stand to smell them. I'm especially tired of their wah wah wah crying about how hard it is to resist donuts or walk a flight of stairs. I'm repulsed by the sound their corduroy pants make as their fat thighs rub together.

So, yes, as you've seen here, I do have these hard feelings for fatties. For some reason, though, I am not allowed to feel this way. Or, more accurately, fatties and their sympathetic friends would rather I didn't post or make jokes about them. Why do you think that is? Polish jokes -- no prob. Sopranos, Godfather, Goodfellas, and all the films stereotyping Italian Americans... that's fine too. Seinfeld can tell us Jews are cheap, New Yorkers are mean, Californians are laid back... judgments and stereotypes and generalizations are all around us. Yet, as I explained in an earlier post, this web site you are reading is classified "hate speech" by some bobo search engines and Blog sites. I have had some perfectly respectful, intelligent comments deleted from other sites simply because the admin followed my profile link, saw this Blog, and decided my opinion no longer counted. For instance, my opinion on a stock market blog was removed because I run this site. The email I got from the admin stated simply: "We prefer not to associate with pushers of hate." Clearly, the administrator is such a gelatinous whale that they probably needed an extra cookie to deal with the horrors they found when they visited this site. I mean, really, does anyone understand this? Please, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Based on this, it's probably wise every now and then to point out that some of the world's best thinkers were respected because they had differing, unique opinions. Shoot, what good is a blog that repeats the BS rhetoric that you hear all the time anyway? If I created:

would that be better? (go ahead, click it, you know you want to!)

I could post inspiring messages every day like:


Instead, I'll post messages here from well-known people that had opinions on fat people. We'll see if that gets the anti-fatty movement more respect. Remember the days when leaders could drink whiskey, be themselves, and speak their mind? I don't either, but we have history books that tell us it was once true.

Today's inspiring message comes from someone my 5th grade teacher told me was a great man. All the world respects him for inspiring us through a world war. The British orator, author, and Prime Minister during World War II was known as a man of words. What did he have to say about fat? Sir Winston Churchill, you have the floor:

“'You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk. 'Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.”

Friday, November 9, 2007

Google Ads think they know me!

As you may have noticed, we have some Google ads running down there on the right side of the screen. Go ahead, click away, I can use the .001 cents. The best thing about Google ads is that they appear to be targeted to your interests. I'm not sure what kind of ads you guys see, but I noticed some great ones today that made me a bit nervous about what Google thinks about my site. I mean, really, Google too? I've already received rejection letters from some search engines stating we are a hate site! I love it!! The world is so sympathetic to fatties that we are considered the same as Nazis, terrorists, and KKK because we poke fun at them. Amazing.

Check out the example on the right. Three of the ads are about diversity and the other two are about anger management. How dare they!! There should be ads about OBESITY, not DIVERSITY. They should be about HUNGER management, not ANGER management! I'll post again soon, but right now I need to cool off by going to the mall and pointing at fatties in the food court.

If you notice any funny ads on your screen while surfing at I Blog Fat, please let me know!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Examples of high self-esteem

Since this site started, I get all sorts of hate mail. One letter in particular really let me have it. It was explained to me that overweight people are like other people and I was "way offbase" with my judgments about the fat lifestyle. According to this genius, being fat is a lifestyle choice and most choose to be overweight and have no interest in "fitting in." There is even a website dedicated to this concept. This website was a gift from God. It will be a never-ending supply of blogging material. Wait until you see this.

Anyway, let's just say I will of course be blogging their website and so-called choices shortly. But in the meantime, how about we check out some of these people that have decided to make the fat lifestyle choice.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Your Questions Answered!

Hello again normal people. And fatties too. We recently gave you a homework assignment: submit your questions and we'd answer anything. Your questions are not limited to issues about all things fat, but we weren't surprised to see the first question we received was a weight loss question. Great! So, let's get to it! (note: I will publish these mostly unedited and will definitely not correct spelling or grammar unless you ask for help!)

Dear I Blog Fat: I laughed my ass off when I read your blog about hating fat people. You know how they say LOL well I really did laugh out loud more than one when reading your messages. I have noticed that you are not the asshole you try to portay. already you are switching from jokes to actually trying to help (iblogfat note: really, you think?! and will this guy ever get to the point!?) and make people think! I do have a question for you but I am not sure you will answer. Here it my question. The african picture was funny, but do you have real advice on how a fat person like me can lose wieght? Thanks, keep it up, Fat and laughing in Jersey

Dear Fat and Laughing: Before we make you cry by attacking your stinky fatness, let's first say thanks for the message. You are right, I would prefer to crack wise and make you all laugh instead of wasting time trying to teach fatties how to lose the extra lard they carry on their disgusting bodies. The sad reality is that there is so much information explaining how to lose weight that it's probably the dumbest question you could send. Really? You need me to tell you how to lose weight? You don't know the steps to take to shed pounds? How about this: cut back on the liters of Pepsi you drink before the sun goes down. How about eating just one cookie instead of the whole box? Come on now, you know this. All fatties know.

This is exactly the problem I've been trying to express here in this blog. Fat people spend so much time trying to convince themselves and others how difficult it is to lose weight. It's not. You may think my ideas on this blog were humorous, which is great for the normal people reading along with you, but for you fatties, you better take my advice -- and soon. Lose your fat now or die sooner than you should. Simple! The diets I posted were perfect. Each time you want to eat a food high in calories or fat, think of that starving child. Whenever you want to overindulge, imagine losing a million dollars the moment you take that bite. Or, best of all, picture your own coffin and the extra expense for your family trying to buy an XXXL casket. Remember Nike? Just do it, fatso.

We actually do have the secret IBlogFat diet plan that shows you exactly how to lose weight quickly. It's not free. You have to trade us something. Be creative. Make us an offer. Right now I'm looking for fat stories from real fat guys and girls. Tell us something that would shock/amuse/disgust us about your fatness. Or maybe some naked pictures of your fat wife. Better yet, naked pictures of your NOT FAT wife! Bottom line: if you want this real, sure fire diet solution, you'll have to offer us something good. What's it gonna be, fatty?

For the rest of you normal people: Thanks for reading. Keep the emails and comments coming. You guys are doing a great job.

SURE-FIRE Weight Loss Secret Revealed!! [Part Two]

Hello Fluffers. I know some of you fatties are still angry about the recent post explaining how to use photos of starving people to get your gut in check. It's typical of fat people; when presented with a easy method to get thinner, they find a way to get insulted. So many of you have emailed me with stories of the same experience: every time a thin person politely tells an overweight friend they should consider dropping the weight, they eventually get the "you don't know how hard it is" lecture.

It's crazy. I know... I believe with all my heart ... that if you presented the typical fatty the following opportunity, he'd take it: Lose 50 pounds and I'll give you a million dollars (note: I am NOT making this offer!). Why is that? Why does it take a large bag of cash to provide the motivation needed? Come on, fatstuff, really think about it.

Or, what if I told you that you'd die in one year unless you lost 50 pounds? Showed you some fancy fat-scan that showed a serious problem that could be reversed the moment you dropped the weight? Of course you'd jump on a crash diet and get it done.

So, can you see a theme developing here, lardo? Use your brain, your big fat imagination, to picture a life where you can get up without rolling on your side. A life where people don't stare and wonder how the hell does he have sex? Imagine a life where members of the opposite sex actually want to talk to you - and not just about the best desserts.

Come on fatties - just freaking do it. If you do ... if these words helped in any way... let us know! You can become the IBlogFat mascot.

Poll Results: "Do You Hate Fat People"

The poll was open for three days. During this time, we had about 1000 hits. Only 17 votes were counted, so you fatties clearly couldn't lift your fat fingers to click the Vote button. If you believe that small sampling, we have a sympathetic audience. I'm really curious about the people visiting us here, so keep the comments (and email) coming...but let's see some voting from you too! Anyway, to the results:

35% said Yes, you hate fat people.
35% said No, you do NOT hate fat people.
17% said WHO DOESN'T hate fat people!
23% wanted us to Leave the Poor Fatties Alone.

So, that adds up to... 58% feeling bad for fatties and 52% acknowledging dislike for fatties.

New Poll - Overeaters treated like drunks?

A new poll has been posted. Someone here posted about taxing fat people on their consumption. I think that might be a little extreme for now, but it may be time to start a new movement to help fatties help themselves.

So, help me with this: would be a good idea to stop fat people from over-eating in public places by allowing servers to refuse service. You know how recent laws have allowed bartenders to refuse service to drunks when they demand more booze? Why not do the same for fat people? If a obese person rolls into Burger King and orders a Double Whopper King Sized meal and then goes back for more, doesn't the server have the obligation to refuse them service? Wouldn't it be most responsible to decline to serve them more high fat, artery-clogging, deep fried food? If the server sees the burger buyer behaving so irresponsible, doesn't he have the same obligation a bartender would have when a drunken guy demands another shot of Jack? We refuse booze service based on server opinion in all kinds of places, such as on planes and bars. Why not restaurants for fatties? Smokers can't smoke, drinkers can't drink, why not put a little focus on these stinkin blobs for a change?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Submit your questions

Remember to send your emails and I'll pick the best and answer your questions. Any topic, any question, but questions about all things fat is what really gets my fingers typing!

email us at or use the link on the top right --->

Monday, November 5, 2007

The SURE-FIRE Weight Loss Secret Revealed!!

Welcome back to I Blog Fat. I really appreciate all the feedback here on the blog and in my mailbox. In a future blog, I will reveal just how emotional these fatties can get. It ranges from hilarious to pathetic to scary. But, it's always interesting. What these fat boys always seem to lose sight of is how much effort they put into to defending how hard weight loss can be. How difficult shedding some pounds is for them. They work so hard at shielding themselves from criticism and living in denial, you have to wonder how much weight they could lose if they put the same effort into a little exercise or a real diet.

But, fellow fat haters, as you may have seen, much of my feedback is about how mean and hurtful people like us are. I try to explain that, although I love tearing it up here and having fun, part of me really wants to help. I mean, of course, the "nice" people out there never stare at obese people or have never made fun of the jelly rolls that flop around as the fatty in McDonalds tries to squeeze into the normal size chairs. Noooo, it's only us "mean" people - and I am often told this blog takes it too far. So, to prove my underlying concern for the fat community, I offer here a program I originally intended to sell and use to get rich. Fat people love to buy fat reduction products (wait until you see the upcoming blog named "Weight Loss Tools," it should be a classic!)... fatties spend kajillions on weight loss products.

But, here today, I will give away ...yes, for free... the Super Duper Diet Solution. If you thought I went too far before, you might want to sit down (of course if you are a fatso, you're already sitting down, right?).

The Super Duper Diet Solution [Option One]

Step1: Take a picture of yourself and put it on the fridge next to a picture of a starving child. [free samples included]

Step2: Place a large jug of cold water in the refridge.

Step3: Next time you need a cupcake, stare at the picture for 30 seconds, rub your fat rolls, drink 16oz of water, and get freakin real.

See? Three easy steps to success! I am prepared for outrage and anger and messages attacking me with how dare you use such images in a humor column! Let me answer this up front: You are the offensive one if you're fat and offended by these pictures or this site. I want YOU to explain to ME how you can view these pictures and then give me some sob story about how hard it is to lose weight. How unfair it is that your boss brought in Krispy Kreme again or how your wife undermines your efforts. Come on! Sure, we joke here and there is some great stuff coming in future blogs, but when you email me telling me how hard it is to avoid food, I go nuts. When I read articles and blogs labeled, "How to Drink More Water," I go crazy.

How do you drink more water?
Are you kidding me? I'll tell you how to drink more water - walk your fat ass to the kitchen sink and fill a fucking cup with some cold water and put it down your fat neck. That's how. I just used 25 words to explain what Oprah or Prevention Magazine says in a 3 page column and charges $5 for the privilege. I'm sick of it and I believe you are too. Yes, its outragous and heartbreaking to see a photo like that. I actually skipped using some Holocaust photos because they were just so gruesome. But if you are going comment how awful I am for posting pics like this, you better explain to me where the flaw in the plan in. These starving people would KILL for the opportunity the average USA fatty wastes sitting on his or her couch, eating chips and watching Jerry Springer. Then, fatty will surf the web searching for tips on how to drink more water or, worse, will post a message somewhere about how hard it is to find will power. I stand by it - print out this picture, post it on your refridge and stare at it ever time you wonder how hard it is to enjoy water; every time you wonder how you'll find the will power to skip a freaking Oreo.

Note: if you want to trash us here for posting this picture, note it was taken from (
so please contact them as well with your complaints about using such images.

Next up: The Super Duper Diet Solution [Option Two]

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Fat is All Around Us.

OK, so here it is. I hate fat people. It's true. And the rest of you do too. Sure, I know its the 00's or whatever it is we call this decade and everyone is freakin politically correct. Even the expression "politically correct" is politically correct. Why don't we describe it as it really is, Baby Boomers that were teased back in the day have finally risen to power and have put in place a fear campaign. You can no longer make fun of other people's flaws. Yet we crave it. Popular shows like Howard Stern and Family Guy clearly show an outcry for the good old days of hurtful, judgmental, mean spirited fun. Remember when your brother would twist your titty and make you cry? Admit it, you miss it!

When was the last time we got to laugh at a town drunk like we did with Arthur or Otis Campbel ? Remember Yo Momma jokes? Now they are played out on some lame MTV show. When I was in grade school, YO MOMMA jokes usually ended with someone crying or getting beat up. Ahh, the good old days. Even so-called hard core people who you would think don't fear the PC police are weak. Who's edgier than Spike Lee? The brother made some of the most anti-PC movies of all time. Then, a couple of years ago, he brings out his big comeback movie, 25th Hour, which was praised for being the first film to show the missing World Trade Center after that prick Osama and his boys knocked them down. So, Spike's got a great cast, Ed Norton in the lead, a good story, a great setting, and a lot of controversial dialog and situations... and what does he do? He BLINKS in what could have been the greatest F U moment of all time. In the scene where Ed Norton is so upset with himself and the world, he stares into a mirror and goes off on a racist, angry tirade. He shouts "Fuck the Jews" and "Fuck the Arabs" and F this, F that. Good stuff. Yep, that Spike Lee is so fearless, right? Umm, sorry, NO. Mr. Lee and Mr. Norton finally get to God himself and end their rant on the Big Guy in the Sky. And, you're sitting there, popcorn in hand, waiting for him to say it: "FUCK JESUS" ... boy, that would be some bold, crazy shit, huh?? Sorry, old Spike couldn't do it; Ed's character --remember he's in a heat of rage-- tells God he doesn't believe in him, he hates him, and then still has the decency to censor himself and only say "FUCK JC." JC?? JC?? Come on now Spike, man up and say it or strike that shit from your movie. When Spike Lee is PC, we have to realize something just isn't right.

But, hey, let's not get off track. It's the fat people that are the problem. Fat people are all around us. Large, oozing, sloppy, gross, smelly, sweaty, hungry fat people. Fat has invaded our society. These people are all around you, so subtle, so ubiquitous, that we hardly pay them attention any more. Remember the good old days when fat kids were pointed at and mocked in public? I grew up in the 70s and when the game Hungry, Hungry Hippos came out, every fat kid cringed. Remember fat kids wore husky pants? Now they are just called large size. And they're available everywhere. Back in my day, fat people had to travel to fat shops with names like He-Man Shop to find tents that could fit them. And the clothes were ugly. No right minded clothing store offered fat clothes that looked like normal-people clothes. That was the price you paid, you wore ugly stripes and canvas sacks while the good people wore attractive clothes. Now every fatty attempts to wear the same styles as normal people. My God, why do these people subject me to belly shirts and short shorts? What genius designed XXXL shorts? Hey Fatties, cover your varicose-veined, dimpled, stubby legs with heavy duty cloth, OK?

Hey, fat asses, it's enough already. I for one am disgusted by your disrespect. Yes, your very existence is a direct disrespect to my sensibilities. Put down the bacon mayo cheeseburger and your 44oz Coke and go lock yourself in a closet for 6 months or until you can get in an elevator without checking the total weight limit and worrying. I've seen you
pricks trying to calculate if me + you = us plummeting to our deaths.

I think we'll pause here, my friends. We have so much to cover in upcoming blogs. Fat babies. People are starving in Africa and we have chunks like this?

We must also discuss fat celebrities. For instance, how the hell does a fat guy get a job on the show Lost and never lose weight on a desert island (he probably thought he was auditioning for a job on a dessert island). OK, I can accept polar bears on the island, but a obese stinkwad eating fruits and bark and not losing a freaking pound? Can you imagine the stench from that island? A fat guy without deodorant is a nightmare. Trust me, fat Tom, in the cube across from me is proof of that. But more on him in the future (be prepared to be sickened).

The fat is all around us. It's repulsive and wrong. Stand up and be heard. You can, you know, because you don't have crooked fat legs that wobble when you rise. Stand up and be heard. I welcome all feedback. I'm searching for a name, a fat label, for these creatures we call the overweight. For now, I'll stick with fatties, but if you have ideas, please share.

Until next time, stay safe and don't get eat eaten.