Wednesday, November 14, 2007
So, today I thought we could look for more evidence of how fat has invaded our society. Recently, Disney could no longer avoid the fact that the boats on their It's a Small World ride were tipping and bottoming-out. Imagine the embarrassed look on Mr. and Mrs. Fatness when their boat has to be unloaded of extra meat because they are bloated past the size of normal humans.
Disney's official line on this is: in 1963 when the ride was created, boats that carried customers through Disneyland's "It's a Small World" were designed to accommodate the average male. At that time, the average male weighed 175lbs and the average female 135lbs. Ahh! The good old days! Have any of you been to Disney lately? Pick a direction; whichever way you look will be obese, sloppy, disgusting creatures. In fact, many are forced to use motorized carts when their only problem is their fat inability to walk the park. Sadly, the only thing you'll see more often than Mickey and Japanese clicking cameras nonstop, is fat people eating, talking about eating, or trying to find a place to sit.
And Disney knows it. While other parks sell popcorn and other candy treats, what did Disney marketing come up with? They sell huge turkey legs as a snack! The moment you see some fat pig shoving a greasy turkey leg into their round face, your life will never be the same.
So, Disney continues to fatten them up as if preparing them for the witch's stove. Their Small World ride being reworked to support fatties who weigh over 200 pounds so that they can continue to keep the ride moving along without delay. If you've been to Disneyland recently, you surely noticed they don't fill boats any more even when the lines are long. Now you know why. Thanks fatties. I'll continue to do the math when you enter the elevator and make sure I don't plummet to my death with your fat butt.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Well, fat reader, it's not your fault for the same reason being dumb is not your fault. You have a fat brain, and therefore, it's hard to think and hard to stop yourself from putting food in your mouth. I suggest you do exactly what the ads recommend and --in addition to "Fat is not your fault"-- also get the programs "lose 55 pounds in 5 months" and "The 16 Hour Diet." If you do this, I expect you'll be much thinner, but sadly not that much smarter.
Click away, Fatties!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Wait...wait..I can't breathe. Wait... this...might...be...the...funniest thing...ever!!! When that reporter says "Crushing Weight" ... it's a thing of beauty. I can watch that kid fall on the floor over and over again.
I suspect it goes something like this: Eat, dance, eat, eat, dance. Nap, eat, watch TV, nap, eat, eat. Walk to mailbox, pick up disability check, order pizza, call mom and tell her how mean neighbors are for staring. Surf web, email IBlogfat.blogspot.com calling us mean and hateful.
Dance, fatty ... dance.
This is dedicated to those that not-so-politely informed me that fat people have plenty of self-esteem and are happy they way they are. This fatty does sound confident, but the real question is: can you get through this video without vomiting?