Wednesday, November 7, 2007

SURE-FIRE Weight Loss Secret Revealed!! [Part Two]

Hello Fluffers. I know some of you fatties are still angry about the recent post explaining how to use photos of starving people to get your gut in check. It's typical of fat people; when presented with a easy method to get thinner, they find a way to get insulted. So many of you have emailed me with stories of the same experience: every time a thin person politely tells an overweight friend they should consider dropping the weight, they eventually get the "you don't know how hard it is" lecture.

It's crazy. I know... I believe with all my heart ... that if you presented the typical fatty the following opportunity, he'd take it: Lose 50 pounds and I'll give you a million dollars (note: I am NOT making this offer!). Why is that? Why does it take a large bag of cash to provide the motivation needed? Come on, fatstuff, really think about it.

Or, what if I told you that you'd die in one year unless you lost 50 pounds? Showed you some fancy fat-scan that showed a serious problem that could be reversed the moment you dropped the weight? Of course you'd jump on a crash diet and get it done.

So, can you see a theme developing here, lardo? Use your brain, your big fat imagination, to picture a life where you can get up without rolling on your side. A life where people don't stare and wonder how the hell does he have sex? Imagine a life where members of the opposite sex actually want to talk to you - and not just about the best desserts.

Come on fatties - just freaking do it. If you do ... if these words helped in any way... let us know! You can become the IBlogFat mascot.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hired midgets to kick me in the balls every time I took a bite of pie.